Why Nicknames Matter in Relationships — Interview with Today.com

Romantic nicknames might seem like just a sweet extra that couples use playfully or out of habit. But as a recent article entitled "135 Sweet, Silly and Cute Nicknames for Your Boyfriend" points out, there’s actually more going on beneath the surface. From the classic “Babe” to more creative picks like “Snugglebug” or “Hot Sauce,” the names we use for our partners can reflect comfort, humor, and even emotional intimacy.

The article offers readers a fun and expansive list of nicknames. But Today was also interested in what makes nicknames so ubiquitous and important to couples, and so they reached out to couples therapist and the founder and clinical director of Lexington Park Psychotherapy, Jordan Conrad, PhD, LCSW.

Jordan emphasizes that pet names aren’t just cute — they’re meaningful. “Nicknames aren’t just an expression of your affection, they express something important about your relationship,” Jordan explains.

"Good romantic nicknames [...] indicate that you have inside information on your boyfriend that other people don’t and communicate an intimacy, not only because they are silly or romantic, but because the otherwise stolid professor or shrewd businessman the world interacts with, is soft enough to accept being called something sweet by you.” 

In other words, those seemingly simple monikers actually help build the emotional glue that holds relationships together.

He also notes that the best nicknames tend to emerge naturally — often through shared experiences, inside jokes, or even personal quirks. Forced nicknames miss the mark for the exact reason authentic ones often stick: because when you have to try too hard, it doesn't actually represent something specific and personal. That’s why “Captain Cuddles” might mean more to one couple than “Babe” ever could.

From a clinical perspective, Conrad’s input underscores how language shapes connection. He views nicknames as part of a couple’s “private language,” something psychologists often see in secure, emotionally bonded relationships. And that is part of the twofold expression of nicknames: "You know something special about your boyfriend or husband that others might not, and that when you use that as a name, it feels nice to him."

Of course, not everyone’s a fan of pet names, and they can't be used at all times. “You can call your husband ‘Angel’ at home or with a close circle of friends, but assume that at work or in more formal settings it will make him feel exposed,” says Jordan.

So while a list of nickname ideas might be fun to scroll through, it’s helpful to keep Jordan's insight in mind: meaningful connection isn’t about picking the trendiest nickname — it’s about choosing language that reflects affection, respect, and real emotional closeness.

Because sometimes, what we call someone is just another way of saying, “You matter to me.”

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