Some people apologize so often that they barely notice they are doing it. They apologize for asking a question, for taking too long to answer a text message, for needing help, for changing plans, even for not being able to change plans when someone else wants to. They can replay conversations for hours or even days afterward, wondering whether they came across as rude or whether they are unlikable for expressing their opinions. This is a symptom of anxiety that many people a

You often hear about anxious attachment and its effect on how you show up in relationships and how anxiety influences intimacy and closeness even in committed relationships, but nobody really discusses how anxiety can affect a relationship, even when the anxiety isn’t about the relationship at all. In another post, we will discuss the difficulties and ways to hurdle those difficulties of relationships in which all parties have some significant anxiety, but in today’s post, we

When you’re in a loving, established relationship, it can come as a surprise how destabilizing life-transitions can be. Moments that seem objectively good – like moving in together, getting engaged, welcoming a new child, or moving to a new city – can put a strain on the relationship in unexpected ways, causing more stress and more arguments. This often catches couples by surprise. They expected these changes to be hard, but they didn’t anticipate just how intense or how fre

When people think of anxiety or of being anxious, they often think of acute anxiety – panic attacks, hyperventilating, and an intense fear of doing something. For most people, however, anxiety exists as a kind of chronic or ambient state – a constant hum of self-doubt fills every moment, not enough to prevent you from leaving the house or speaking to other people, but enough to make it feel unpleasant. Although anxiety is characterized by its distinctive kind of fear or worry