Some relationships are bad for you in obvious ways. There is clear incompatibility, dishonesty, instability, and conflict. But many relationships feel bad for a different reason: when the nature of the relationship is unclear, when the communication is ambiguous or on-and-off, it can provoke a kind of relational anxiety. When the relationship never feels settled because it never gets well-defined, because attention and reassurance appear just often enough to keep the connecti

There is a particular kind of anxiety that often, but not always, hides in productivity. For many people, staying busy is not simply about getting things done; it is a way to regulate their emotions. Having something to do, a direction, a channel for their energy, can feel stabilizing. People like this are often successful in their field and appear to be very fulfilled. The difficulty, however, is that when the structure of having a purpose falls away, so too can that stabili

People tend to think that relationship anxiety happens in the absence of contact. And there is some truth to that: when you don’t hear from your partner for a while, you can start to think about why that is, whether they’re treating the relationship seriously, and whether it is important to them. The idea is that time provides people with enough space to start to ruminate. There is some truth to that, of course, but for many people, the feeling of anxiety doesn’t disappear af

There are moments in a relationship when something feels off, but not enough to clearly point to. You might try to forget about it because it feels like saying something will just make a problem out of nothing, or maybe because you’ve brought it up in the past and nothing has changed. So you notice it and then move past it. It feels easier to adjust quietly than to say something that might change the interaction. This type of relationship anxiety is incredibly common. People

For many high-performing professionals, the problem is not work (per se), it is figuring out what not-working looks like. When your career is the central tent-pole of your life – when you’ve worked hard to get where you are, and now a lot is expected of you – it can be difficult to “turn off”. Time spent with friends can feel like a temporary reprieve, but more often than not, your mind is on work. The problems with this aren’t always obvious to those who love what they do.

Why do we use corporate jargon? A WSJ feature highlights how language protects relationships—Dr. Conrad explains the psychology behind workplace communication.

In a famous bit of dialogue from Richard Linklater’s surrealist movie Waking Life, the protagonist speaks to a man about the importance of maintaining a life that is really yours. As with much else in the movie, the dialogue is overwrought and exaggerated almost comically (for instance: “The worst mistake you can make is to think you’re alive when, really, you’re asleep in life’s waiting room.”). Toward the end of their interaction, he describes working a difficult job, getti

It often starts with something small: a brief pause before a reply, a message that feels slightly shorter than usual, a comment that could be taken in more than one way. Nothing overtly wrong…just enough ambiguity to stay with you. So, later, your mind returns to it. You replay the conversation, this time paying closer attention. You begin to notice things you didn’t register at first: was the tone off? Why did they say that then? they seemed distracted… For many, that is onl

Many people find themselves asking: why am I always the responsible one, and why is it so difficult to step back? Being reliable is almost universally regarded as a positive trait ( see Nietzsche for an opposing view ). Being reliable indicates that you are consistent and have the capacity to follow through: qualities that are highly valued in both professional and social contexts. The trouble is that over time, being the reliable one can cause those around you to start to ex

Anxiety in Manhattan Professionals Is Shaped by a Distinct Set of Pressures Although anxiety is something that all people experience to some degree, it manifests differently across different groups. In environments where expectations are elevated, where performance is measured carefully, and outcomes are highly visible and carry significant professional consequences, anxiety tends to take on a more persistent form and become more integrated into one’s identity. Professionals

Anxiety Often Emerges After Arrival, Not Before Many students begin college expecting the transition to feel challenging but manageable. For many students, there is often a sense of momentum in the early weeks: new classes, new routines, and the assumption that things will settle with time. For high-performing students in particular, there is usually a well-established belief that effort will translate into stability. What is less expected is that anxiety often does not appe

The Transition to College Is Not Just Academic The transition from high school to college is often a more significant shift than students anticipate. For many students in New York City, college is the default “next step,” but even those from prestigious preparatory schools such as Grace Church , Horace Mann , or Léman can struggle to make that transition . Students go from environments in which expectations are clear, continuously reinforced, and have their parents to lean

In a recent USA Today opinion piece on modern dating and situationships, journalist Andrea Javor sat down with Jordan Conrad, PhD, LCSW, founder and clinical director of Lexington Park Psychotherapy

In New York City’s most demanding professional circles, stress is often treated as a given. Long hours, high-stakes decisions, and constant visibility are simply part of the landscape for many people. Many high-performing professionals become adept at functioning under pressure, meeting deadlines, being the reliable one , and sustaining outward success even while carrying a steady internal load. Because performance remains strong, chronic stress can quietly normalize itself.

Couples therapist Lily Eckstein discusses communication problems in relationships on the And Here’s Modi podcast and how couples therapy in NYC helps.

In Manhattan’s high-performance culture, anxiety does not always look like panic attacks or visible distress. Many accomplished professionals, students, and creatives move through their days appearing composed, productive, and outwardly successful while privately managing a persistent undercurrent of tension. This pattern, often called high-functioning anxiety, frequently goes unnoticed precisely because it coexists with achievement. Individuals who excel academically or main

In high-achievement environments like New York City, many accomplished professionals and students privately wrestle with a persistent fear of being “found out.” Despite strong performance, advanced training, or visible success, they may feel as though their competence is somehow fragile or undeserved. This experience, commonly known as imposter syndrome, is especially prevalent among high-functioning individuals whose external achievements mask a quieter pattern of chronic s

It is natural for dating and romance to carry a certain amount of anxious weight. For many people, dating carries a steady undercurrent of tension: Will I find the right person? Am I reading this correctly? Is this actually going somewhere? Even when a date goes well, the mind can continue turning the interaction over long after the evening ends. Over time, the mind may begin to hover over small moments: a pause in texting, a shift in tone, an ambiguous ending to an otherwis

Major life transitions often bring excitement, hope, and new opportunities, but they can also stir unexpected anxiety, even in adults who normally feel stable, competent, and resilient. Whether it’s stepping into a new job, moving to a different city, welcoming a child, or facing a health challenge, these changes disrupt familiar routines, expectations, and roles. The result can be persistent tension, restlessness, or worry that feels disproportionate to the situation, someth

On the surface, everything looks fine. You’re getting things done, exercising, seeing friends. To an outsider, you appear to be "on top of things." In modern psychology, this is often referred to as high-functioning anxiety. While not a formal clinical diagnosis, this term describes a very real experience: a state where anxiety doesn't manifest as a visible breakdown or an inability to function, but rather as the fuel that drives your productivity. The problem is that this "f