IFS in Manhattan, NY
Internal Family Systems
What is IFS
Internal Family Systems, or IFS, is a sophisticated form of "parts work" - a model of psychotherapy that approaches the self as composed of multiple different elements. Informed by a modern neuroscience that views the mind as modular, composed of several discrete but interacting modules with their own characteristic tasks, IFS examines the way these parts interact and, at times, interfere with one another.
How does it work?
People often feel torn between different parts of themselves - between the part that wants to wake up early and the part that wants to sleep in, the part that is compassionate and understanding and the part that doesn't want to feel walked all over, the part that feels strong and independent and the part that feels anxious and needy.
​
These parts exist in everyone and together they create the self. The goal of IFS is to understand the network of parts that make you who you are and to get them are working together and heading in the same direction.
IFS Couples Therapy in Manhattan
Have you ever gotten into a fight with your partner that, in retrospect, felt like it was about nothing? Can you manage your triggers in most situations, but with your partner they feel uncontrollable? Do you find yourself getting into the same arguments over and over?
​
Relationships are challenging because they have the potential to activate parts of ourselves that we are otherwise able to manage easily. Arguments often persist because a part of you gets activated and responds in a way that activates a part of your partner, which then reacts in a way that reactivates that part of you.
A classic example:
​
On a date-night, you tell your partner that the food isn't as good as you thought it would be in this restaurant and your partner lashes out, saying "Then you should pick the restaurant next time!"​ Hurt that you can't just tell your partner how you feel, you say, simply, "I guess I should" and the two of you eat in silence. When you get home you head right for bed. This is a small argument but these add up - a great date-night turned into an opportunity to fight.
So, what happened?
​
Oftentimes, after a trauma or a painful emotional experience, our protective parts become overactive. Your partner heard your comment about the restaurant's food as an insult about their ability to pick restaurants and a lack of gratitude for the work they have done organizing the date. Then, although you know your partner to be a generally kind person, his anger touched upon an anxious or fearful part of yourself that withdraws from difficult conversations instead of responding with curiosity. You shut down and now the two of you are at a stalemate.
​
An IFS therapist in Manhattan can help you to identify these parts and the emotions that fuel them so that in moments like this, a more integrated you can respond, rather than a particularly hurt or reactive part of you.
Is IFS therapy in Manhattan right for me?
Internal Family Systems is a highly versatile and evidence based modality that has been effective treating college students (here), trauma and PTSD (here), chronic pain (here), and self- awareness and self-forgiveness (here and here). The benefits of internal family systems therapy in Manhattan include:
​
-
a greater understanding and control of your own feelings
-
increased self-esteem
-
learning to communicate your own thoughts
-
reduced stress, anxiety, and depressive thoughts
IFS at Lexington Park Psychotherapy​​
​​​Within the framework of IFS, there are subtle variations that different clinicians employ. At Lexington Park Psychotherapy, we apply an integrative framework to psychotherapy. That means that the elements of IFS that will benefit you are brought to bear without forcing you into a rigid or unnecessarily narrow theoretical system and allowing you to benefit from several other therapeutic techniques, including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), psychodynamic psychotherapy, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), trauma-informed care, and many others.
​​
